Perpetual Child: Adult Adoptee Anthology,
Dismantling the Stereotype
Interview with AN-YA Project Co-Founder
& Anthology Contributor
MEI-MEI AKWAI ELLERMAN, PhD
Interviewed by:
Amanda Transue-Woolston (Co-editor
& Contributor)
Diane René Christian (AN-YA Project
Co-Founder & Publisher)
Diane:
Mei-Mei, on the heels of publishing Perpetual
Child: Adult Adoptee Anthology you
were asked to serve as co-founder of the AN-YA Project. Can you discuss how you
reached your decision? Also, how do you feel this new role might alter your
personal and professional life course?
The moment I read the unexpected offer to serve as
co-founder of the AN-YA Project, every fiber in my body responded, YES! I felt
simultaneously humbled and honored. The Project corresponds exactly to what I
had envisioned as an ideal form of global outreach to the younger generation of
adoptees. It is visionary, yet deeply personal due to the epistolary format; a
means to build bridges across perceived generational, ethnic, social and racial
divides; a way to break through the silence and walls of isolation. I
immediately envisioned meaningful one-on-one connections as well as the
creation of an immense community, a global network based on trust, common life
experiences and the longing to find others who speak the same “language.”
I look forward to
the opportunity of gaining greater insight and understanding of the endlessly
complex issues experienced by adoptees. Reading and absorbing the stories in
what I anticipate will be hundreds of letters for, Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Fostered Youth, will
enrich, challenge and inspire me.
I am so grateful to
you, Diane for your confidence in me: truly a gift. The greatest challenge to
fulfilling the role of co-founder will be exerting even greater discipline in
juggling my numerous commitments as a writer and social activist!
Diane:
Mei-Mei, you asked other contributors to
answer the question— “In what way did your relationship to your piece change [if
at all], when reading it in the context of a collective work versus when you
originally wrote it as a standalone piece.” Can you discuss how this question
pertains to your experience?
When I wrote my piece I was focused on capturing moments of
my life journey and weaving them together into a tapestry I wanted to share
with a wide audience. It felt as if I had opened my arms, hands stretched out
in anticipation of experiencing an electrifying touch. As I read the deeply
personal stories of the other contributors I slipped into an ever-growing
circle in which all hands were linked, uniting us as one. I envision that
circle continuing to expand as each new reader joins us, adding his or her hand
to our magical circle of connection.
Amanda: Discuss a person,
place, or event in your life that helped you discover your talent for
writing/poetry, or that nurtured your talent.
My Mother
always maintained that I eventually would become a writer. When she passed away in 1994, she left me two
invaluable gifts: a letter marked, “to be read after my death” and a tote bag. She
began what was a love letter, from mother to daughter, in 1968, the day I
married. Every few years she added an occasional paragraph or two, just telling
me how much I meant to her, reminding me to always be true to myself, speaking
with pride and joy of my children and my role as a mother and professional. Included
in the letter there was a smaller envelope containing the map of the Vestre
Cemetery in Copenhagen. Not a single line. Just an X marking her father’s burial
site.
As I sorted
through the neatly arranged suitcases, boxes and bureau drawers in the basement
of Mother’s home, I came across a carry-on bag that I could barely lift. I tried
to imagine, to no avail, what it could possibly contain. When I unzipped the
tote, I burst into tears: my Mother had carefully saved every letter I had
written to her from 1962 when I left for college until a few months before she
died. There were over a thousand letters, tied in colored yarn to separate them
by year. I normally wrote to my mother, according to the family tradition
started by her Danish father, every week or ten days, except for the summer
months we spent together. I had my
mandate. I knew that the time had arrived to set pen to paper to capture the
unique history of my mother, her four her siblings, her Danish father and
Chinese mother who in 1885 had risked all she held dear to be with the man she
loved. Years of research and travel
awaited me. My voyage began with a visit to my grandfather’s gravesite.
Diane: Do you have a
particular time of day which you prefer to write/create?
I am a night
owl so I do my best work from 11 PM into the wee hours of the morning. However,
when on a roll, I tend to write 12-14 hours straight, losing all sense of time!
I am aware that I should set aside a certain number of hours every day but
between continuous travel and commitments to social justice issues, I write in
spurts.
Amanda: Are there any adoptees that inspire you
creatively? Feel free to answer in
general terms of being inspired by the adoptee community if you do not wish to
name anyone specifically.
One towering
figure: Steve Jobs, whose creative drive and genius continues to amaze. And then, as I have read an increasing number
of autobiographies, memoirs, academic works, blog posts and exchanged letters
and phone calls with other adopted adults and youth, or met fascinating people
at conferences or in day to day life, I find that each story, unique yet often
with many issues in common, touches me and fires up my imagination.
Diane:
Mei-Mei Here is another question you posed to contributors in previous interviews—
“Do you need complete quiet, a ‘room of your own,’ when you write or can you
write under any circumstances? Does your writing simply flow from your pen,
finger tips, or do you actually hear what you are writing, or see it as it
takes shape?”
It depends on what I am writing. Sometimes the urge is so
strong that I can write anywhere, but I prefer to write at night when the house
is quiet, no phones ringing and everyone else has retreated to bed. I normally
compose in my head, hearing the words as they pour forth, so when I actually
sit down to type, the writing flows with ease. What requires far more time and
effort is the process of revising.
Amanda: Is feedback from other adoptees, other
adoption community members, colleagues, or friends/loved ones a part of your
creative process? If so, how do you
include others in the creation of your pieces?
I have belonged
to a memoir group at the Brandeis Women’s Studies Research Center for over 15 years.
The input of the other members is critical and immensely helpful- their
comments push me to express myself more clearly, delve more deeply into issues and
simultaneously be more succinct. I also share my writing with family members
and close friends as well as a select group of writers. I follow suggestions
that enhance my style, remind me of details I take for granted so fail to
include, and strengthen the structure and narrative arc.
Diane: I would love to
hear your answer to your own question— “Given the choice to make three major changes in your life up to now,
what would they be?”
1. Become twice as productive as a writer and activist and
effective as a healer without further reducing my hours of sleep! 2. Carve out
time for my personal life. 3. Not feel guilty when not working.
Amanda: Do you feel that your writing is
in any way a legacy to your posterity or a tribute to your ancestors—or
both? If so, in what ways do you feel
your ancestors/descendants appear within or inspire your writing?
Both my memoirs
are steeped in the history of the times [1857-1999], in China, Korea, Denmark,
the US and Europe. Through my relentless
research and worldwide travels over the past 20 years, I have sought to link
past and present, to bring together the deceased who have guided me in my quest
for the truth, both between themselves and with family members of my own
generation and my children’s. My memoirs are inspired by the love for my Mother
who adopted me as an infant, the passion she instilled in me for my cultural
heritage and respect for my ancestors. I hope that once published, they will
inspire others to embark upon a similar journey of self-discovery and exploration.
Diane: What projects are
you currently working on?
I am revising
my memoir on the 27-year-long quest for my natural parents’ identity and
history: Circles of Healing, Circles of
Love: A Labyrinthine Journey in Search of Connections, and continuing to
work on a second memoir, In Pursuit of
Images and Shadows: A Chinese Adopted Daughter Seeks her Mother’s Past. Besides the AN-YA Project, Dear Wonderful You, Letters to Adopted & Fostered Youth, which is still at the initial stage, I am co-editing an
anthology on loss, Sweep Up the Heart:
The Wisdom of Our Grieving.
Diane: Have you read any
great books recently?
I always have a
pile of classics next to my bed, Greek and Latin, Shakespeare, Dante, Manzoni,
Stendhal, Camus, and many others, which I read and reread. Right now am
delighting in Edward Rutherfurd’s books, hefty historical novels revolving
around the birth and development of great cities, told through
multi-generational family stories: London, Paris, Ruska. Sarum.
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